Mar
27

Clerihews: It’s Come to This

I’m too lazy to try to make a limerick today, so I’m going to attempt to write a poem called a Clerihew. Apparently they are stupid little biographical poems about a famous person. Rhyme and meter are irregular, which is a plus for me as I never learned exactly what meter is. This seems a… Continue reading »

Feb
07

Going to CPAC

This week I will be headed to Washington, D.C. for my first-ever Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. This is a big deal for me. I’ve never been one for “involvement” before – always been a very casual observer. Alright, fine: an obsessive observer. But I haven’t been deeply involved in debating and discussing politics… Continue reading »

Jan
11

News of the Day: Limerick Edition 1-11-12

ROMNEY SEWS IT UP, SMUG JERKS SEEM READY TO CLAIM AFTER ONE PRIMARY What a very strange journey we’re on When Romney can pass off this con That he’s not progressive – It’s very impressive! Though a disappointing denouement…   It’s just a shame all the other guys Proved themselves insufficiently wise. But that’s not… Continue reading »

Dec
12

Look Not Into the Snowman’s Eye

It’s that time of year when the radio station robot-DJs engage their Christmas playlist subroutines. I was listening at work today, and “Frosty the Snowman” came on. Perhaps it is more indicative of my frame of my mind than I should reveal, but suddenly I heard the song in frightening new ways. No longer was… Continue reading »

Nov
03

Letter to Occupy Norfolk

To the Editor, Virginian-Pilot: Occupy Norfolk and the larger Occupy movement have devolved into what astute critics said they would from the start: farce and ruin. Our own Norfolk chapter of the “movement” (which has no goals, no leadership, and sadly no end in sight) has failed to gain much traction. Why the city renewed… Continue reading »

Aug
17

News of the Day: Limerick Edition 8-17-11

Libertarians Finally Take Hint We’ve Been Dropping That a billionaire named Peter Thiel Chased the libertarian ideal Far away to the sea – Taking all thems with he – We should really thank Peter, I feel. President Obama Saves or Creates at least One Speechwriter Job; Others…Not so Much  This President we’ve got is a peach; Look, he’s making another damn speech.… Continue reading »

Aug
16

HRT Light Rail Boondoggle – Update: It Begins

UPDATE: Printed 8-18-11 The HRT and Norfolk Light Rail Boondoggle is at long last ready to accept riders. You may remember my previous thoughts on the subject, here and here. This week has seen a depressing series of articles in which the city appears to be doubling down on the thing, trying to put a brave… Continue reading »

Aug
11

Hate-A-State pt 3

Yeah, yeah, here’s part 3. Late, whatever. I’m a lazy man and I’m not going to amount to much. Much the same as many residents of Delaware. IMPORTANT NOTE: It has been brought to my attention that the Great State of Nebraska is in many ways as fine a place to live as the Commonwealth of Virginia.… Continue reading »

Jul
19

Hate-A-State pt 2

A continuation of the rogue’s gallery of states which are not Virginia. Kansas - Don’t act like you don’t have this coming. First of all, even before you were a state you were causing problems with the whole slavery thing. And then, you actually started killing each other. I mean, I can understand going after people… Continue reading »

Jul
15

Hate-A-State

Irrational pride in the state of your birth should be a common feature of Americans. Its corollary, irrational hatred of all other states in the Union, should likewise beat in the breast of all good citizens. Alas, it does not. I am compelled by this distressing condition to list all the states in order, with a brief… Continue reading »

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