So the entire English-speaking world is abuzz at the news that Prince William has finally proposed to his longtime girlfriend, “commoner” Kate Middleton. Over my coffee I noted that Good Morning America led with 20 minutes of coverage, and the Today show picked up after GMA’s segment ended - a weirdly suspicious relay that would arguably have allowed a royal-besotted American nearly an hour’s worth of WillsKate. Wates? Kwilliate? Willatherine? Give me a hand with this one.
I am utterly depressed at the treacle we are passing off as news here in the U.S.A. Did we not fight a war for the express purpose of showing this fella’s great great great grandpappy that he could take his monarchy and shove it right up his Hanoverian ass? Hey, you can fact check me on whether I got the royal House right – nota bene: I don’t care, because as an American I don’t have to care about the genealogy and current doings of some upper crust head of a foreign government. I disagree with the very notion of a monarchy. That arrangement (which, in however watered down a form you believe it, puts one man inherently above another man) is antithetical to liberty.
But let’s be honest: when has our lack of a king in America ever stopped us from getting into a tizzy about someone who is richer, smarter, better-looking? Celebrity worship is to Prince William as Abject Submission is to Louis XIV. Low born people, lacking any hope of attaining the lofty heights (oh, read Prince Charles biography, yes do) of the monarchy, sit back and vicariously (voyeuristically) fantasize about the life of the royalty. I look around me and I see a country founded on liberty and born in blood, betraying this belief by the servile manner in which we endlessly discuss these limey bastards. The impulse to monarchy must be ingrained in human beings; the American experiment is to breed this deadly trait out of our species.
Let me be clear: the British are valued allies and essential partners in the ongoing effort to keep the Germans and French from running anything, and especially in blunting the jihad being waged against us. Our cultural ties make them something akin to friends. But America, when you swoon over this family, these…Kardashians with better accents, you disgust me.
Get a grip.